You Can Throw That Tape Measure Out

Remember when you were in school and you've just received your report card? You take it home, show it to your parents and the usual spiel follows.

• You only got in the Top 10? What happened?
• How come you only got 63% for Science?
• What did [insert best friend's name here] get?
• See? He/She did better than you. How did that happen?

To which I only have one answer: I didn't study. Yes, I suffer from chronic laziness. Anyway, science never really caught my interest in school. But that's besides the point.

The point is... why does your success have to be measured against another person's? Does it not speak for itself? Does it mean that you have to push, trample, shove, beat down others on the way to the top?

A little friendly competition is good and all to motivate yourself to do better. I've seen friends go all out to beat each other. But then again, I've always been more on the coasting side of things. I suppose the key is in the balance, as it is in all other things. Balanced diet, balanced lifestyle. Balance of Type A and Type B.

It's not just education and exam results that people compare, though. It's everything. Especially in families, particularly Asian families.

• Look, your cousin is so pretty and so slim. You should watch your diet more.
• See, your cousin's husband is so successful and so rich. You should find one like that as well.
• Your cousin is doing so well at work, etc.

Honestly, I don't particularly give a fig. It's nice for them and I'm happy for them. But I'm content with what I have. Sure I have my own goals and dreams, but they have nothing to do with outshining or showing up anyone else.

So, for those people who think that they're better than someone else because they have nicer clothes or a more expensive car or have more money stuffed in their purse...

I say...

You know where you can stuff it.


P/S When you go to a posh boutique here but aren't dressed head-to-toe in designer gear, the people in the store [90% of the time] assume that you can't afford anything in there and either refuse to help you or follow you around with this disdainful attitude like you're tainting the store. You know who you are.

Two Dimensions

One day, I was sitting in the cafeteria, taking a break from a study session in the library. While I was enjoying my pudding and drink, I thought I'd read a bit more of The Odyssey, as I had an exam for that module the following day.

So, there I was, alternating between reading and drifting off, when some people I knew came and joined me. They were also students there, but they were engineering students, whereas I was just an English and Classical Civilisations student. They're very nice boys, and fellow Malaysians.

This is how the conversation went:

Them: Hi, Riyya. Enjoying your book?
Me: Hey. Not really. I'm a bit stressed. I need to finish and remember this book by heart for my exam - tomorrow.
Them: [Looking extremely surprised.] Oh... you're... studying that book?
Me: Yes, I have to for this module I'm taking.
Them: You have an exam?
Me: [Thinking, well, yes, I am a student and it is part of university life.] Erm... yes, I do have a few papers actually.
Them: Oh. How many exams do you have?
Me: 6.
Them: [Looking even more surprised.] We thought you didn't have exams. Every time we see you, you're reading a book and looking relaxed.
Me: [*hissing inside*] Well, erm, I'm taking literature. I kind of have to read all those books. That's how I study.
Them: Oh, well, good luck on your exams.
Me: Thanks. I have to go back to the library now. I still have 3 more papers to study for. So, see you.
Them: Okay. Bye!

This is how the conversation ended:

Me gathering my books and walking away as quickly as I possibly could. Ooooh, I was so angry. Why do so many people look down on the Arts and Humanities students?

I did not choose Literature because it was easy. I chose Literature because it was what I loved. And to have people belittling what I loved really got to me.

So... as stated in my previous post...

One point of view gives you one perspective. One perspective gives you a one-dimensional picture. One-dimensional pictures paint a pretty flat view of the world.

Nice Girls Finish Last?

Me, when I was 15.
Typical schoolgirl, nothing special. Did not do anything spectacular, but never got into major trouble either.
I was just cruising along. I did break a few little rules along the way, like eating in class during break when you're supposed to be downstairs in the school canteen.
But sometimes I just can't be bothered.
So, there I was eating some chicken nuggets or whatever and a 'friend', who was a prefect saw me and came in. I asked her if she wanted some and she said sure.
Then she left the room and returned with another prefect to rat me out.
She got praise [and my damn nuggets], and walked away with a smug smile.
I got a scolding, and detention [and lost my damn nuggets to her].
Thanks to her, I spent the next lunch break picking up rubbish around the school compound. In a horrifying blue apron thingy.
Can we say b-i-t-c-h?

Me, when I was 20.
I got accepted and university and went to UK. It was my first time there, and my first time away from my family. I was terrified and upset enough as it was.
Upon arrival, a very nice lady from a volunteer organisation [that specifically welcomes international students at the airport] showed me around.
I had arrived at Heathrow and needed to get a coach to Swansea.
A man cuts in front of me in the queue and tells me that he just needed to ask something from the lady at the counter.
I said sure, go ahead.
He bought the last ticket to Swansea on the coach I wanted.
He got to go off.
I got a ticket for the noon coach [it was 7 a.m. when I arrived].
I was trying not to cry while sitting on the bench all alone, waiting for that bus to take me to Swansea. [The bus which, by the way, broke down outside of Swansea and we had to switch buses. At this point, I was openly crying. I was miserable and afraid I would not reach my accommodation in time for the 5 p.m. deadline. Plus, it was that time of the month. I know, nice.]
To this day, I still feel like breaking the liar's nose.
Unfair?
Yes, it was.

So, do nice girls finish last? I don't think so. But even if we do, at least we get to keep our dignity [which is not at all comforting when you're sitting alone on a bench for 5 hours]. Lesson learned, dignity still in place.

Now I'm a nice girl who stands up for herself. Hurrah!

I Am Also Malaysian... But, Please Lah!

   I'm sorry, but this might be a ranting and raving session. Proceed with caution...

   So, last night I went out with my parents after buka puasa. I was told that we were going to One Utama, which was the only reason I went because there was something I wanted to get from there. But, for some reason or other, we ended up in Sogo. 

   Surprisingly, even though it was after 9, the place was packed. What with raya coming soon, the stores have extended their shopping hours. So, there I was, trying on clothes, and next thing I know, a hand reaches in and pulls back the curtain. Emm... hello? The curtain is closed. Most probably there is someone in there. If in doubt, call out at least. Then, I didn't get so much as a sorry. All I got was the woman saying to another woman... "Oh, ada orang dalam tu." Well, yes, there is indeed a person in there. Me.

   That was the first incident. The second happened when I was queueing for the cashier. I was second-in-line. Of course, this woman decided that she is above having to queue and cuts in front of me. My mom was having none of that and pushed me ahead when it was my turn. The woman glared at me. I happily glared back. [So appalling the way some people behave and how it brings out the worst in me. That's partly why I miss Swansea so much. I was usually so happy-clappy there.] 

   In the middle of paying, this woman's [who was still standing there] husband went to the cashier next to the one I was at. So her husband tells her to pay there. I don't know what her particular problem is, but perhaps she has never been to a civilised shopping mall before. Instead of walking over to where her husband was, she decided to pass him the shirts she was holding. Right in front of my face. I wasn't too happy about this, obviously. 

   After we finished paying, I stormed off, saying loudly for her benefit, "Susah lah orang macam ni. Kalau tak tau nak queue, jangan lah keluar lain kali." Or something that wasn't quite as polite as that. 

   I'm Malaysian, I love my country, but really... please, lah.