Oh, Say It Is [Not] So!; Or, The Meaning Of Life

This is what it has come down to.

Me, desperately shaking a Magic 8 Ball for the answers I desperately seek.

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I marry and have my happily-ever-after?

Without A Doubt.

[Oh, we're off to a fabulous start!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever become a published writer?

My Sources Say No.

[Bloody 8 Ball!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I at least live comfortably?

Yes.

[Simple and straightforward, I like it.]

Now to get down to business.

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever figure out what that silver button belongs to?

Most Likely.

[Woohoo!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever cure my addiction to shopping?

[Inconclusive - I received many glimpses to different answers.]

Dear Magic 8 Ball. are you telling me the truth?

Concentrate And Ask Again.

[Ok, I will.]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, are you telling me the truth?

Yes, Definitely.

[Ok, I trust you. I've got all the answers I need for now. Thanks! You have just enriched my life deeply. What would I do without you?]

No, seriously, will I ever be able to answer these deep questions without your insight?

Without A Doubt.

Well, then, why am I putting my trust in you?

No answer.

Not so smart now, are you?

As I See It, Yes.

Great. You have just destroyed the very foundations of my belief. Thanks a lot!

Love The Classics

Dear Sir,

     I hope this letter finds you in good health. This letter may come as a surprise as we have not been formally introduced. I do beg your pardon for being so forward.
However, I sincerely felt that it was a necessity for me to pen this letter. Allow me to refresh your memory, if I may.
     Our paths crossed, rather literally too, 6 weeks ago. I was in the carriage in the lane next to yours when you decided, for your own good reason, I am sure, to suddenly swerve into my lane. A move that I found both unnecessary and extremely dangerous.
     Forgive my rather harsh language, but that was very ungentlemanly of you. Thank Heavens, I was able to avoid any mishaps, but you did incur my wrath. I know that it is not very ladylike of me, but your behaviour was far from gentlemanly .
     I pray that we do not meet again, good sir, for I fear for your safety should we cross paths again. I may not be able to stop myself from shooting you with my dear papa's hunting rifle.
Good day.


With my sincerest good wishes,

Miss X

Not-So-Fresh Grad Looking For Pretty Much Any Legal Profession, But Writing Would Be Fabulous

Dear Future Employer,

   I'm certain that by now you are sick and bored to tears of reading boring old resumes and such. So I'm not going to list my accomplishments, skills and such (because let's face it, half of those will be lies anyway).
   I will simply tell you a little about myself and let you judge me (but really, judging people is not really a nice thing to do, is it?). Maybe judge is the wrong word to use. Let me rephrase that - I will simply tell you a little about myself and let you decide if I would be a positive addition to your company.
   First, I am a very positive person and love to motivate those around me. For example, whenever I go shopping with my friends and they see a top they like but are not sure if it would suit them, I motivate them to try it first and see for themselves. We are our own worst critic after all and I always offer positive, yet truthful, comments. After all, trust is a very important factor in all relationships. So I would make a great salesperson, motivational speaker, telemarketer from this characteristic alone.
   Secondly, I am never satisfied with mediocre performance and am always pushing myself to do better. For example, whenever I play games on Facebook, such as Scramble or Geo Challenge, I am never satisfied with my score. I know I can do better and push myself to improve my score every single time I play. Obviously, this would apply to my work ethics as well. However, because of this drive to better myself, sometimes multi-tasking may be a problem. I throw myself completely into one task, so if you give me many things to do at once, I may take a little longer to complete them. But only because I want to do the absolute best that I can. Not because I'm lazy.
   In addition to that, I am obviously dedicated. I am dedicated to shopping, reading, chocolates and sleeping. I do all of those extremely well, and in fact, consider myself an expert on these matters. I would make a great personal shopper, reader, chocolatier, and sleep study patient.
   I am also a very fast and willing learner. When my friends taught me to bake, I picked it up quickly and went on to experiment further and learn new recipes. My philosophy is that there are so many things out there just waiting to be discovered. Some of the things I plan on learning include archery, kayaking, knitting and the piano. That makes me very versatile so you may place me in whatever position you feel would fit me, but I can also cover for others when the need arises. I would make a good baker, and once I learn the things I listed, a baker who can shoot arrows while kayaking and playing the piano while knitting. I could even be an international spy.
   My other skills include applying make-up beautifully, knowing what jewellery would complement which outfit, knowing where the best desserts are, and many, many more.
I thank you for your time and hope you will consider me for the position. I look forward to hearing from you.


Sincerely,

[Illegible scribble]

There's A Goblin Dancing Across My Shower Taps

For further information on goblins, please click here.

The reason I am convinced that there is at least one goblin living in this house, particularly in our bathroom is...

Every single time I get the water to reach that perfect balance of hot and cold...

The water will turn very, very cold about 5 seconds later...

Which results in me twiddling with the "hot" tap a little bit...

Which results in me getting my scalp scalded about 2 seconds later...

Which then results in me jumping out of the water's way, while desperately turning the "hot" tap crazily in the other direction...

Which makes me wonder now...

It is amazing that I have not slipped on the tiles [knock wood]...

I hate that goblin.

[It's apparently not the taps as the plumber said everything was working perfectly.]

It must be a goblin.

It's probably the brother or uncle to the other goblin who dances across my keyboard...

Making me type words like "unvle" and "wordks" and "wafgle"...

Or "I do hipe yoy consuder my apploctioon for thid positon"...

I want to shoot these goblins.

But I don't have a gun.

Things I Learned From Cartoons

1. Mutant rat-men are good and never trust a man who wears a silver mask and a purple cape who hangs around with a mutant brain. [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]
2. The best disguise is a suit and glasses. Hey, one man in a suit looks the same as the next one, right? [Superman]
3. Road runners may have the brains, but coyotes are the ones with the money. How else can they afford the endless supply of anvils and dynamite? [Road Runner]
4. Cats, dogs and ducks can all be best friends. [Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck]
5. Chipmunks can sing and can socialise with humans perfectly. [Alvin and the Chipmunks]
6. If you are a stubborn teenager who goes against her dad's advice and seeks help from a witch, runs off to be with a boy from a different world, gets your whole society in danger so your father has to intervene, eventually your father will let you have your way. [The Little Mermaid]
7. Inter-class romantic relationships can work. [Aladdin]
8. A one-eyed, three-legged, green-skinned alien can pass off as a female human. Beware. [Lilo and Stitch]

Fire! Fire!

True story.

This happened when I was in my final year as a student in Swansea.

I was happily minding my own business [gasp, gasp, yes, I can mind my own business!], and playing Solitaire on my laptop [now, dead, may its pieces rest in peace].

I look out the window and what do I see?

Thick, almost-black smoke coming from the neighbour's house.
Now, any normal person would jump out of that chair and run outside to see what was going on.
Not me.
Oh, no. I continued to stare out that window for a few more minutes.
I think I was waiting for one of my housemates to run down the stairs screaming.
Oh, but wait. Only three bedrooms face the back garden - mine, the room directly above mine and the room at the back of the house. And those two were never in anyway.
So, I slowly got out of that chair and walked [not run] to the back garden to check if there really was a fire.
Yes, there was a huge fire. Huh.
So, I walked quickly back to my room and looked out the window again. Yup, smoke still there.
Now, this is where I get incredibly silly. I still can't believe I did what I did. I was trying to decide what to take with me in case the fire spread and burned down our house. Laptop, of course and passport and my purse.
The essentials, right?
Then, I had this thought. If indeed the house burned down, I wanted to make sure I had a nice outfit on [if it were to be the only outfit I saved]. So I changed. All the while the smoke is still billowing outside my window.
Although nobody seems to be doing anything about it. The neighbours didn't seem to be running around trying to put out the fire, which confused me.
So I ran up to my housemate's room and told her about the fire.
What did she do?
She came downstairs with me, looked at it... and laughed.
Because of course, it was only a bonfire. They were burning rubbish or wood or whatever.
I was burning too... with embarrassment.
But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, you're missing out on a lot of laughter, right?

P/S Just a little something to keep you entertained while I'm away finishing this thing I'm working on, which is really great. I have no idea when it will be finished though as my partner and I are really loving it and stretching it out. Hopefully, you'll love it as much as we're loving it.

Clash Of The Two Planets: Venus Vs. Mars

Incidentally, Venus was the Roman goddess of love and Mars was the Roman god of war. Love vs. War. Hmmm... This excerpt I'm going to share with you demonstrates that perfectly. I was given this piece of paper to read by a friend. It's hysterical. I'm not quite sure of the origins of this excerpt or where she got it from. Anyway, here it is.


Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix.

The professor told his class one day. "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will email your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.

The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely no talking outside of the emails and anything you wish to say must be written in the email The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his students, Rebecca and Gary.

The Story
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favourite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much, her asthma started aching up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squad room now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about that the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit establishes. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle BEAM FLASHED out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for physically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out of the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress, had left Earth a defenseless target to the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic! Whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some sort of other F****** TEA???! Oh no, WHAT AM I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
A*****e!

(Gary)
B***h!

(Rebecca)
F*** YOU, YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea, w****!

(Teacher)
A+... I really liked this one.



That concludes the story. Hysterical, no?
Kind of makes me feel like doing a tandem story myself. Scott, will you be interested in joining me in my attempt to prove that not all girls agonize over which tea to drink and not all men are neanderthals?

Transmutation Device

I just discovered that I had a magic transmutation thingy on my bedside table. Amazing, right?

Now, like any other scientific discovery, I'll have to present proof or evidence to support my 'discovery'.

The Proof:

1. My long green-handled scissors are now short pink-handled ones. [I have asked everyone who lives in this house if they have seen the green one, but nobody knows anything about it.]
2. I discovered tweezers under my pillow and my tissues are slowly disappearing. [When I asked, nobody admitted to touching my tissues and the tweezers are still unclaimed. Maybe I have a tooth fairy that deals in tweezers instead of change? But I didn't lose a tooth.]

Mystifying, isn't it?

I also seem to have a telekinetic device downstairs as the tissue box keeps moving around or disappearing altogether.

Remember: the truth is out there.

I Hear Mourful Hymns As I Find My Way Through The Forest Of Darkness

I hear mournful hymns as I find my way through the forest of darkness.





Aha! Caught you!
Now that I have your attention, you may as well stay and finish reading.
Sorry, but I do not hear mournful hymns. The closest thing to a mournful hymn I hear is my purse begging for the abuse to end. And my days of finding my way through 'The Forest Of Darkness' are hopefully over. [As I have thrown away my 'trekking' trainers.] Now, I only trek through 'The Labyrinth Of Desires', also known as shopping malls.
Anyway, it's all very 'Lord Of The Rings'-ish, isn't it?
Oh, I would enter the forest just for a glimpse of Legolas. [Yes, I know he's not real. Unfortunately.]
I'm rather bored at the moment, and sleepy as I am, I can't seem to sleep.
Oh, if only the stars could sing me a lullaby.
[Sorry, I'm in a rather melodramatic mood right now. I was absolutely scandalised earlier when I thought I wouldn't be able to find my ankle guards.]
Actually, forget the stars. If I were still sleeping in my old room in Swansea, with Jamie Foxx crooning in my ear, I'd sleep just fine.
I actually started out writing this post with something specific in mind. But apparently I've forgotten what it was.
Ah, well. Let's just go with the flow. [I don't follow the flow enough. If anything, I'm always trying to swim against it, or at least resist. Could it be my incredibly stubborn streak?]
[Err... no, I'm not stubborn. I'm a woman who has strong opinions and beliefs.]
Right.
I was thinking of making lemon squares earlier or some incredible-looking chocolate chip cookies I saw on Nigella Express. But I don't know where all the baking equipment is. Plus, my neighbours and my family probably won't appreciate hearing the banging that usually accompanies my efforts in the kitchen at 3.00 a.m.
Back to my futile effort to reach La-La Land.

To Chase A Dream

So, the birthday celebrations are done with.

I had too many cupcakes [or fairy cakes] and other desserts.

Gaaahhh... if it had gone on any longer...

As wonderful as it all was...

There is no way I would be able to chase after an ant...

Let alone chase after rainbows...

And it's over those rainbows that my dreams await...

[They're definitely not waiting next door. Trust me, being the energy-conserver [read: lazy, lazy, lazy] that I am, I looked nearby first.]

As much as it pains me...

I have to bid farewell to the sweet loves for now...

Thanks for all the wonderful memories.

We'll see each other again someday.

Somewhere...

Somewhere over the rainbow...

For Everything Else...

Styling my hair: 40 minutes [40 minutes worth of electricity and almost half a can of hairspray]

Applying make-up: 40 minutes [cost of lip gloss, eyeshadow, concealer, etc. - more than I want to admit]

Deciding on 'the' outfit: [a very frantic] 20 minutes [20 minutes worth of electiricity and cost of outfit]

Picking the right accessories: 15 minutes [15 minutes worth of electricity and cost of accessories]

Choosing 'the' shoes: 10 minutes [10 minutes worth of electricity and cost of shoes]

Worrying about suitability of outfit to occassion: 130 minutes [130 minutes of electricity, etc.]

Feeling fabulous the whole night: Priceless.

Look on boyfriend's face: Priceless.

For everything else, there's Mastercard. Or Visa. Or cash.

A Memory Uncovered

   I was going through some boxes of stuff [finally!] and I found some blasts from the past. I discovered my sketch book [full of pictures of rings], and my Psychology notes [full of doodles]. 

   When I flipped through the notes, I found... a note that we apparently passed around in class. It wasn't passed around in Psychology class though, as our Psych class was usually pretty small, and the lecturer kept a keen eye on us. 

   I think it's from my Anthropology class, judging by the participants in this note. I just laughed when I read through it. Oh, to be 19 and silly and messing around again.

Unnamed: [But it's me as it's in my writing. Figures I'd be the one who started the whole thing.] 

   Chris, ur looking sexy cos u wanna attract Mr. Ching, rite?

Unnamed: [But I think it's Chris.]

   Yes. To get more marks! *winking smiley*

Felicia:

   My God, as if Chris is like that... (she has her own guy)... Amee looks very cool too.

Unnamed: [Looks like Chris' handwriting.]

   [To Felicia] R U going out with u-know-who now? Is it confirmed? Btw, might go to Liquid tonite... *smiley* r u free?

Felicia:

   Chris, I am free, but no transport.

[At this point, there are many arrows pointing to respective names, so it's getting a bit confusing.]

Aimee:

   [to Felicia] No, me not. Thanx, but no. Me ok. U look

 cool. Everyday when I c u, u are always cool. He he he...!!!

Felicia:

   [arrow pointing to Aimee's name] good flatterer

Aimee: Badriyyah, so... wassup with ur date? He he he...!!! How'd it go? Felicia, u too. What's the story? He he he...!!!

 [Apparently that's how Aimee laughs on paper.]

Me:

  [arrow pointing up] It was as usual - ok, nice.

[Hmmm... I wonder who the date was with. I don't sound too excited.]

B: [too lazy to write my name, I guess]

   He is not my date! He's just a very close friend. But he's going back to Aus tonite. *sad face* [On the paper, I meant. Not on me.]

Unnamed: [looks like Aimee]

   Awww... poor you. Was it XXXXX?

Me: [With more arrows]

   No, XXXXX. *tongue-sticking out smiley*

Unnamed: [Felicia, looks like]

   Chris, there is no one and you-know-who cos it will never be, I do not think it can be. We shall remain friends... 

[Unfamiliar writing in brackets]:

   [Sorry to hear that...]

Unnamed: [Aimee, again]

   Oooh, ok. Got the picture. So, that means he's available? Hahahaha...!!! Just kidding!

[Hmm... she's changed her laugh here. There is a P.T.O. at the corner of the page. At this point, we have reached the end of the page.]

Still Aimee:

   But u will have other choices, so... "there are many fishes in the sea" *smiley face*

B:

   Ok. I'm bored. I've got a dirty joke. [Insert dirty joke and punchline.] 

Unnamed: [Chris, most probably.]

   What is P.O.T. sorry P.T.O?

Aimee:

   P.T.O. means please turn over. P.T.O. is for Chris saying.

[Eh? Saying what?]

B:

   [Insert more dirty jokes by me.]

The note ends. Apparently my jokes were not appreciated.

   Who was 'u-know-who'? I wonder where these girls are now. Poor Mr. Ching. So there you go, how 4 [or 5?] girls spent their Anthropology lecture.

   I wonder if I still have my notes from high school? Those would probably be hilarious, what with teenage angst and spurned loves and the usual high school drama.

Will Think For Shoes

   Need help thinking?

   Let me unburden you.

   Let me help you.

   If you think you're alone, and have no one, think again.

   Or better yet, let me think for you.

   Call 1800-xxx-xxx.

   Remember, it does not have to be that way.

   [Children and teenagers under 18 should obtain parents' permission first. Network rates apply.]

I Would Like To Find This Child

   If you know who he is, please contact me. [You know who you are.]

   You may get a reward. [Seriously, only for you.]

100 Things About Me... [Part 1]

   Because I got tagged to do this.

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. 
   
4. 
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. 
   
9. 
   
10. 
    

   Orang-orang yang bijaksana dapat melihatnya. Kalau saudara / saudari antara golongan bijaksana, saudara / saudari tidak akan menghadapi masalah membacanya.

   Sekian, terima kasih.

  [English translation: Wise / intelligent people will be able to see it. If you are one of these wise and intelligent people, then you should have no problem reading it. Thank you.]

   For those who don't understand this line / joke, it's based on a really famous, really funny Malay black and while film called Nujum Pak Belalang.

Two Letters To Make Three Words

                             AB CDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

The alphabet put us together.

Enough said.

A & B

To represent the three words I will tell him over, and over, and over, as long as I breathe.

Take me shopping!

Okay, who did this?!?

I wake up this morning.
I look in the mirror.
And I see...

A panda.

When did that happen?
How did that happen?

A panda with nice hair, but a panda nonetheless.
Big black circles around eyes - check.
Round body - check [minus the fur].

Now all I need is some bamboo shoots.

Then, it's off to China.

Panda signing off, to look for bamboo.

Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve, Your Words On Your Tee

I don't know why, but I just love slogan tees. Sure I get offended when people stare at my chest [how dare they stare, how rude!], but I simply adore them anyway.
I have one that says "It's Not The Style, It's The Content. And I'm Content With My Style", which I totally identify with. I have another one that says "Waste Your Life. Be An Artist", the irony of which I find amusing. My absolute favourite is the baby blue one that says "I'm A Nerd", which I think sums me up nicely. Sure, the graphics on it are of pastel-coloured baby monsters sitting around on giant electronic equipment with dollar signs [which I still can't figure out how exactly it relates to nerds], but it's just adorable.
I even get them for 'Him'. I wish I had one for all the different moods I'm in [but I don't think there are enough tees in the world to cover that].
But the ones I have will do nicely for now.
So, according to my tees, I am a nerdy artist [or artistic nerd?], who's content with her style, and life, even though she may be wasting it.
If I had one for what I'm feeling right now, it would say, "Sleepy Blogger Waiting For A Call From Someone Who Will Get In Trouble If He Doesn't Call Soon."

The Tiara

   Why? Because I'm 'His' princess.

   I'm also his chef and dish-washer woman.

   But I'm still his princess.

   And I love it.

   [Hey, never mess with a princess with a skillet in one hand and a wand in the other.]

   [Wait. Princesses don't get wands. Only fairies do. Oh, whateves. I'm a princess, if it's a wand I want, it's a wand I shall have.]

   [Sorry, I'm just lurved up at the moment. He's probably cringing as well when he reads this.]

   Kisses from the princess!

What's In A Name?

Well, apparently quite a lot. It all started with the whole Capulet versus Montague debacle. Parents spend months, sometimes searching for the perfect name for their child. All of which, brings me to this... the name of my blog.

I did not name my blog. My male counterpart did. He created this blog for me while I was away somewhere with no Internet access. No, I was not in the depths of the jungle [but close enough]. Anyway, one night 'Him' asked me if I would like a blog. I said, sure, why not, but not now as I had no means of accessing it. But he said he would take care of it for me until I could.

So, using an old blog of mine, this blog was created. Now, I love 'Him' for doing this for me, but when I look at other blog names/titles, and they sound ever-so-clever and ever-so-witty, I sometimes want a clever and witty name too. But I will not even dream of changing something that was created by 'Him' for me. So, the name shall remain.

It does have a meaning to it, though. It goes like this... the Arabic meaning of my full name, Badriyyah, is 'full moon' [which is why I'm so round, or so I claim]. My nickname, 'Riyya', in the original Malay spelling and meaning, 'Ria', means 'joy'. Now, 'Riyya', combined with the 'Su' part of my blog name [which comes from my family name 'Suhaili'] makes 'Riyya-Su.' Now, when the 'Su' part is twisted and put in front of the 'Riyya', it makes the word 'Su-Riyya'. A word which has no meaning in that spelling, but in the original spelling of the Malay word 'Suria', it means 'the sun'.

So my name, which originally means 'full moon', has been cleverly played with to make the word 'sun'. Which is obviously the opposite of moon. Gah. I lost my point. Anyway, you get my drift.

In honour of 'Him', I will dedicate the 'sun' part to 'Him'. Because without 'Him', this blog would not have been created. Tadaaaaaa...

I like to sometimes look for the meanings that might not even be there. Why? Sometimes I like to pretend I'm pretentious. Go figure.

This reminds me of the time I had to present a short story we studied in class when I was in college. I don't remember the title of the story, or the name of the author, but it was one of those stories that was full of symbolism and hidden meanings. I got stuck with it because I didn't come on the day everyone chose their stories. Serves me right for missing class.

Anyway, there I was presenting, slowly explaining each symbolism in the story. When I was finished, I was bombarded with questions. Most of which I was thankfully able to fend off successfully. Then a boy in my class asked, "But what do the barking dogs mean?"

I said, "They were just being dogs. It doesn't have a deeper context."

He said, "But there must be a reason for the barking."

I said, "Well, they saw a stranger approach, and being dogs, they barked. It's just their nature."

He said, "I think there was a reason they barked."

To which I replied, "Yes. They barked at the stranger because the stranger was potentially trespassing on the property."

He said, "I'm sure there was another reason for the barking."

I swear, at this point, I wanted to set some barking dogs on him.

I replied, "Well, I've analysed it completely and am sure there is no other reason than it being their instinct to bark at strangers."

This was potentially getting tedious.

He said, "Well, it's a deeply symbolical story. There must be another reason for the barking."

I wanted to kill him. I wanted to strap raw steaks onto his body and throw him into a pit full of hungry Rottweilers.

My lecturer saved the day. He told the boy, "There is no reason for the barking apart from what she just said."

Hurrah.

Talk about looking for meanings that aren't there.