The Ultimate 'Duh' Moment

A few weeks ago, I went to fetch my sister from school as it was raining heavily. I loved the rain because [1] it's not hot!!!! and [2] it totally reminded me of Swansea and since I'm still homesick for Swansea, that was a nice little reminder.

Anyhoo, so I went to fetch my sister. Was waiting in the car for about 10 minutes, alternating between watching the wipers flick back and forth and looking out for my sister. She finally drips into my car and I drive home.

Once we were in front of the gate, I completely blanked on how to turn my wipers off. Excuse me, what was that all about??? I knew how to change the speed of the wipers, but for the life of me, for just those few minutes, I just could not remember how to turn them off.

I spent what took-way-too-long trying to figure it out. I flicked and turned and twisted, turning on the back wipers in the process and spraying windshield fluid while my sister laughed her a$$ off.

Finally, finally, one of the flicking movements worked and they blessedly stopped.

And so concludes the ultimate 'Duh' moment. I think I deserve applause for that. And for the record, I'm still a 'P' driver, but I'm pretty good on the road. In case you thought I shouldn't be allowed to drive because I didn't know how to turn off my wipers.

Re-re-mix...

I'm going to take the 8th line of every song on Duffy's album, 'Rockferry' and  piece them into a new 'song'. 

Why? Simply because I'm bored. And because I can.

Plus, Duffy rocks.

I got a feeling, deep down inside [Serious]

Cos the feelings in me oh yes in me are burning strong [Stepping Stone]

With a picture of your face [I'm Scared]

To show me that you're mine [Delayed Devotion]

Don't you be out all night [Syrup and Honey]

Cos you got me good [Mercy]

Cos I'm not that kind [Rockferry]

All the things [Distant Dreamer]

It was just my false hope [Hanging On Too Long]

You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear [Warwick Avenue]

I thought that turned out pretty nice. Hmmm... just some gaps in between the lines. Anyway, love her!

Back In Kindergarten... But I'm 24!

   In my final year at Swansea, I worked as a... well, my official title was Volunteer. But I consider it work as I did get paid for it. Anyway, I volunteered as a sort of aide to a student with disabilities. I had plenty of time off, so I thought I'd sign up for Spanish classes. I also signed up for Aikido, but never went, even though the enthusiastic instructor e-mailed me updates weekly.

   I did go to the Spanish classes, though. It was Beginner's Spanish, and it was under the Department of Adult Education, so there were loads of adults in the class. Technically, once you hit 21, you're officially and adult, but I have yet to consider myself as one. I joined with a couple of my friends. It was every Wednesday night, and it was loads of fun.

   Our teacher started us off from the basics, you know, with the alphabet and numbers. I really felt like I was back in kindergarten when I recited the alphabet along with the rest of the class [a majority of whom probably had grandchildren in kindergarten]. Here's the real kicker. Sometimes the teacher would recite the numbers and we were meant to write the numbers down in our notebooks, without looking at the information sheet.

   When she was done, she would go around the class and mark our work... with a stamp. Sometimes it was a star with words like "excellent" or "wonderful" or an elephant with "way to go" or something like that. The amazing thing was... I actually felt excited to see that little stamp. Never mind she gave them out to everyone, or that even if you made loads of mistakes, she would still give you one.

   Part of the reason I went to class every week was to collect these different stamps. *lol* And she had the cutest worksheets with pictures and cartoons on them. Seriously. I never did finish the course because I missed a class, then another, and another until I thought there was no way I could catch up. Excuses, excuses. I regret not finishing that class... and I missed out on all the cool stamps. 

My Fair Ladybug

   There was once a yellow ladybug. She lived in a tree full of red ladybugs. She tried very, very hard to make friends with the others, and to be accepted as one of them. They were friendly enough, and she even formed close friendships with some of them. But the fact that she was yellow still bothered her. Most of the time she felt insecure and out of place.

   One day, she thought to herself, "If my place isn't here in this tree, perhaps I should go out into the world and find a

place where I can truly belong." And with that, she bade farewell to her friends and flew off into the big, unknown world.

   She flew for quite a long time and spotted a big bush with yellow flowers. "Oh, that looks like a pretty spot," she said and went down. But once she arrived on the bush and looked around, she saw that there were only caterpillars there. So, off she went again.

   She flew and she flew and saw a meadow, stretching far into the horizon. She said to herself, "Oh, how pretty. Look at all the colourful flowers." Down she went into the meadow. She looked around happily, hoping to finally see another yellow ladybug, but all she saw were ants. She was very tired and decided to stay there for a while longer.

   to be continued...

   

   

I Am Also Malaysian... But, Please Lah!

   I'm sorry, but this might be a ranting and raving session. Proceed with caution...

   So, last night I went out with my parents after buka puasa. I was told that we were going to One Utama, which was the only reason I went because there was something I wanted to get from there. But, for some reason or other, we ended up in Sogo. 

   Surprisingly, even though it was after 9, the place was packed. What with raya coming soon, the stores have extended their shopping hours. So, there I was, trying on clothes, and next thing I know, a hand reaches in and pulls back the curtain. Emm... hello? The curtain is closed. Most probably there is someone in there. If in doubt, call out at least. Then, I didn't get so much as a sorry. All I got was the woman saying to another woman... "Oh, ada orang dalam tu." Well, yes, there is indeed a person in there. Me.

   That was the first incident. The second happened when I was queueing for the cashier. I was second-in-line. Of course, this woman decided that she is above having to queue and cuts in front of me. My mom was having none of that and pushed me ahead when it was my turn. The woman glared at me. I happily glared back. [So appalling the way some people behave and how it brings out the worst in me. That's partly why I miss Swansea so much. I was usually so happy-clappy there.] 

   In the middle of paying, this woman's [who was still standing there] husband went to the cashier next to the one I was at. So her husband tells her to pay there. I don't know what her particular problem is, but perhaps she has never been to a civilised shopping mall before. Instead of walking over to where her husband was, she decided to pass him the shirts she was holding. Right in front of my face. I wasn't too happy about this, obviously. 

   After we finished paying, I stormed off, saying loudly for her benefit, "Susah lah orang macam ni. Kalau tak tau nak queue, jangan lah keluar lain kali." Or something that wasn't quite as polite as that. 

   I'm Malaysian, I love my country, but really... please, lah.

Hopelessly Devoted To Yooooooouuuuu...

   Ok, don't be fooled by the title of the post. This is not going to be a sickeningly sappy post. This was just something I remembered when I read Nicole's comment on what a lucky woman I am in my previous post.

   Anyway, this is another story from when I was back in Swansea. My friend, a Penang girl, was cooking for the first time ever for her then-boyfriend [now husband], who is a Swansea native. She had whipped up a Malaysian dish, I can't remember what specifically, but it was something full of spices like cinnamon sticks and cloves and whatnot.

   He kept complimenting her on how delicious it was. But imagine her surprise when he finished eating and she found that his plate was clean. She asked him about it. "Did you eat the spices as well? You know, the wooden-like stuff?"

   And he said, "Yes! I didn't want to hurt your feelings by leaving food on the plate, so I ate it all."

   My friend just burst into hysterical laughter. I mean, even we Malaysians don't eat the spices because they're so bitter, and this guy had swallowed every single one. Now that's what I call devotion.

   So, she told him that he didn't have to eat the spices in the future, and he was so relieved because he said it tasted horrible [obviously!], but he didn't want to say so because he didn't want to hurt her feelings! Awww... bless!

For The Record

This is a follow-up to my 'Love Thy Thesaurus' post.

Here's the 'translation', or the original text...

Someone who would drive for about an hour, both ways, each, just to visit you for a couple of hours, when he's dead tired, probably really likes you.

My wonderful man did just that for me, simply because I asked him to [since I was missing him so much]. Bless!

I wanted to say thanks to him for being so amazing.

This is taking so long so I'm going to end it here.

That's all!

No Matter What!

   No matter what... people will talk about you.

   

   No matter what... you will talk about people.

   So, as long as you're not hurting anyone...

   And, as long as you're happy...

   Whatever people want to say about you...

   No matter what! [to be said in strong pasar English]

Love Thy Thesaurus

   I love 'Friends'. One of my favourite lines from that lovely series, that still makes me laugh even now, comes from that episode when Joey writes a recommendation letter for Chandler and Monica for the adoption. It was when Joey discovered... the thesaurus.

   He was so proud of his letter when he gave it to Chandler and Monica. That's when we find out that 'They are [I can't remember what word he used to replace 'warm'] homosapiens with large aortic pumps." Translation - They are warm people with loving hearts." Classic.

   Now, I love my thesaurus too. It helped me sound intellectual on many of my university assignments. So, in tribute to the thesaurus, I decided to write this blog, Joey-thesaurus-style.

   Somebody who would steer for approximately an hour, equal directions, apiece, solely to visit you for some hours, at what time he's flat drained, has got to be exceedingly partial to you.

   My divine chap executed precisely that for me, purely for the reason that I beseeched him to [since I was emphatically yearning for him to a great extent]. Exaltations!

   I desire to express appreciation to him for being so superb. 

   This is stealing so elongated so I'm bound for concluding it at this juncture.

The Best Things In My Life... Come In Pairs

1. Pair of wedding rings
2. Pair of plane tickets to Spain
3. Pair of earrings
4. Pair of shoes
5. Pair of lurved up people [to use the pairs above]