One Two... Buckle My Shoe... Twenty Six... Time For A Remix...

   It's the eve of the day that will mark the beginning of my 26th year on our little planet. Looking back to my quarter-of-a-century birthday, nothing much has really changed over the course of the year. 

   Everything is pretty much the same as it was a year ago. Oh, I have my blog now. And I am starting to write more. Plus, I've got way more shoes now that I did this time last year. My hairstyle's different and I got more presents this year [Yes, I know it's not my birthday yet. But I've got a few presents already - most of my birthday wish list has been fulfilled - yey!]. Oh, I also have my driver's license now.

   But apart from that, I still shop too much and eat way too many chocolates. *sigh* And I am still, still searching for a suitable job. I guess I just envisioned that things would be different by the time this day rolled around. Every time I have a birthday, I imagine what life would be like for me come the following birthday. And for my 26th, I was supposed to already be working and confidently driving myself around, plus some other things.

   *sigh* At least, I'll be job-hunting with great hair and yummy shoes now.

   Here's to the beginning of my 26th year! 

Step By Step

I have a confession to make.

Oh, but should I tell you?

But I must tell you because the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

*hanging my head in shame*

I. Cannot. Stop. Buying. Shoes.

*sigh of relief*

There - I said it.

If I were to see a psychologist, he or she would probably say something like I'm trying to fill a void in my life buy buying shoes, blablablabla.

Huh. But they would be wrong. Hah. I fill the voids in my life through my writing and books and ice-cream.

Lately, I'm loving the snakeskin print. I find snakeskin print heels so... alluring. [Symbolism, snake, tempting, Garden of Eden, forbidden, apple, sinfully delicious, etc.]

But I'm not going to excuse my shoe addiction by using some psychological terms, etc.

My name is Badriyyah. I am a shoe addict. And I'm proud of it.

Yesterday's News

Trying to capture the memories again. The feel of the cold air on my face, my hands warm in black wool gloves. Smiling at something a friend once said. Sad because that friend is sadly no longer a part of my life. Remembering how funny and sweet and beautiful she is. Laughing at the memory of her facial expressions as she was recounting the story of a fallen beetle and the 'memorial' another girl wanted to have for the unfortunate beetle.

Regret at the people and things and memories I had to leave behind. The deep sense of loss of having to leave what I considered my home behind. The most heartbreaking 12 hours I have ever spent on a plane, including the time I first left behind my family to pursue what are now, alas, my broken dreams. It all feels like a lifetime ago, and it was, because it was a different life. An independent life, free to finally discover what I was capable of, still capable of. Free to grow into the person, the adult, that I am now. Free to try different fashions and cook different recipes. Free to embrace the newly found responsibilities and accomplishments as my own.

Free to dream. Free to love. Free to laugh. I did things I never imagined I would ever do in my life. I went on an 8-hour hike through the woods and waterfalls. I laid down in snow. I waded through melted snow and got soaked through up to my knees. I got on a coach [bus] and went to London. I got to see Italy, a place I've been dreaming of going all my life. I rode the water taxis in Venice, visited the boutiques in Milan, walked the cobbled paths of Florence, saw the Coliseum in Rome and ate gelato at all those places. I stood in front of the Moulin Rouge in Paris and went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I flew to Athens and sat in the theater of Dionysus! A theater that the Greeks sat in to watch the very first plays. I was a part of history.

I mattered.

A Memory Uncovered

   I was going through some boxes of stuff [finally!] and I found some blasts from the past. I discovered my sketch book [full of pictures of rings], and my Psychology notes [full of doodles]. 

   When I flipped through the notes, I found... a note that we apparently passed around in class. It wasn't passed around in Psychology class though, as our Psych class was usually pretty small, and the lecturer kept a keen eye on us. 

   I think it's from my Anthropology class, judging by the participants in this note. I just laughed when I read through it. Oh, to be 19 and silly and messing around again.

Unnamed: [But it's me as it's in my writing. Figures I'd be the one who started the whole thing.] 

   Chris, ur looking sexy cos u wanna attract Mr. Ching, rite?

Unnamed: [But I think it's Chris.]

   Yes. To get more marks! *winking smiley*

Felicia:

   My God, as if Chris is like that... (she has her own guy)... Amee looks very cool too.

Unnamed: [Looks like Chris' handwriting.]

   [To Felicia] R U going out with u-know-who now? Is it confirmed? Btw, might go to Liquid tonite... *smiley* r u free?

Felicia:

   Chris, I am free, but no transport.

[At this point, there are many arrows pointing to respective names, so it's getting a bit confusing.]

Aimee:

   [to Felicia] No, me not. Thanx, but no. Me ok. U look

 cool. Everyday when I c u, u are always cool. He he he...!!!

Felicia:

   [arrow pointing to Aimee's name] good flatterer

Aimee: Badriyyah, so... wassup with ur date? He he he...!!! How'd it go? Felicia, u too. What's the story? He he he...!!!

 [Apparently that's how Aimee laughs on paper.]

Me:

  [arrow pointing up] It was as usual - ok, nice.

[Hmmm... I wonder who the date was with. I don't sound too excited.]

B: [too lazy to write my name, I guess]

   He is not my date! He's just a very close friend. But he's going back to Aus tonite. *sad face* [On the paper, I meant. Not on me.]

Unnamed: [looks like Aimee]

   Awww... poor you. Was it XXXXX?

Me: [With more arrows]

   No, XXXXX. *tongue-sticking out smiley*

Unnamed: [Felicia, looks like]

   Chris, there is no one and you-know-who cos it will never be, I do not think it can be. We shall remain friends... 

[Unfamiliar writing in brackets]:

   [Sorry to hear that...]

Unnamed: [Aimee, again]

   Oooh, ok. Got the picture. So, that means he's available? Hahahaha...!!! Just kidding!

[Hmm... she's changed her laugh here. There is a P.T.O. at the corner of the page. At this point, we have reached the end of the page.]

Still Aimee:

   But u will have other choices, so... "there are many fishes in the sea" *smiley face*

B:

   Ok. I'm bored. I've got a dirty joke. [Insert dirty joke and punchline.] 

Unnamed: [Chris, most probably.]

   What is P.O.T. sorry P.T.O?

Aimee:

   P.T.O. means please turn over. P.T.O. is for Chris saying.

[Eh? Saying what?]

B:

   [Insert more dirty jokes by me.]

The note ends. Apparently my jokes were not appreciated.

   Who was 'u-know-who'? I wonder where these girls are now. Poor Mr. Ching. So there you go, how 4 [or 5?] girls spent their Anthropology lecture.

   I wonder if I still have my notes from high school? Those would probably be hilarious, what with teenage angst and spurned loves and the usual high school drama.

I Heart Italiano

Hi, I'm writing this from Tuscany!

I'm falling in love every minutes here. Everything's just so gorgeous!


I wish I were writing from Tuscany.

Really, I'm just writing from Malaysia, after reading about Tuscany.

*sigh*


Back to hiding under the covers and pretending I'm eating pasta in a Tuscan cafe.

Bleurgh.

One Potato... Two Potato... I Choose You!

I made a decision.
I will stick to my decision.
drumroll please
I will not be an emotional eater.
From now on, I will be...
An emotional blogger.
This decision will save me...

1. money that will be better spent on books.
2. from further angst brought on by pound cakes and whipped cream.

This decision will also allow me...

1. to get in touch with my issues [or whatever] in a healthier way.
2. brush up my writing skills.
3. chase my rainbows [rainbow number 1: coveted career as a writer, rainbow number 2: please refer to my ticker factory on the sidebar of my blog].

No doubt the waffle guy will be saddened by my decision.

But, ah well, sacrifices must be made.

Tag! You're it!

I've been tagged by Erin in a meme!

So, here goes...

The Rules of Tag are:

1. You link the person that tagged you.
2. You post the rules on your blog.
3. You share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. You tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Then, you let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Here we go...
My 6 things are:

1. I love to watch cartoons. Just love them. From the classics like 'Jem and The Holograms' to Mickey Mouse and Disney movies. 'Beauty and The Beast'? Yes, please!
2. I like cats, but only from a distance. I don't know why because I used to have one when I was younger, and I never got scratched or anything like that, but I just panic when one gets too near to me.
3. I used to want to be a dentist. Simply because I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up by my teacher when I was 10, and I thought 'dentist' was a suitably impressive answer. I grew out of that when I was 14.
4. My Yahoo Messenger is giving me problems right now and is refusing to be clicked. This is extremely annoying as I want to chat to my best friend, who is living in London.
5. Weirdly enough, I actually like a bit of turbulence on the plane. It feels like I'm on a roller-coaster or something. However, when I'm actually asked if I would like to go on a roller-coaster, I freak out and say no.
6. I like black olives but dislike the green ones.
   

Now, I will tag 6 people...

Eim, Nicole, Maryam, Audrea, Shannon Jay, Dzofeer.

Finally, to let them know that they've been Tagged!
Try it!

The Birthday Wishlist - Part 1 [revised - again]

1. the pretty white pearl hairband [Forever 21] [Got it for myself.]
2. the tiny cute pocketbook with brown feathers design [Forever 21] [Changed my mind.]
3. the pretty cream [or pink] quilted hair band [Forever 21]
4. the sweet sequin butterfly hair clip in pastel colours [Diva] [I got it for myself.]
5. the gorgeous black shoulder bag with gold buckle [Nose] [Changed my mind.]
6. the lovely XX perfume [Hugo Boss]
7. the adorable 'Happy Birthday' flats [Brera]
8. 'Rockferry' album [Duffy] [I'll get it myself.]
9. those gorgeous, gorgeous cream/beige/brown half covered, half open shoes [Nose] [Got another, similar pair.]
10. The yummy black strappy black suede platforms from Guess [MidValley's Metrojaya] 

P/S The list is NOT in order of preference

P/P/S I am available to be taken to the shops to pick out my own presents. Yes, I am THAT shameless. But really, I'm just helping out. I mean, I don't want my friends to spend money on something that I'm not going to like. So, there you go...

P/P/S I'm justifying being THAT shameless.

P/P/P/S Part 2 will be coming up as soon as I go on another shopping 'survey'. Just to further prove how shameless I am.

Through The Looking Glass

   Our similarities are what draw us.

   Our similarities are what bond us.

   I see you in me.

   I recognise you in me.

   And I don't feel alone.

   I don't feel like I'm the only one going through this.

   Your strength inspires me.

   Your joy enlightens me.

   Your wisdom illuminates me.

   Our similarities scare me.

   Our similarities keep me away.

   And I feel alone.

   I feel confused.

   Your weakness reminds me of my own.

   Your tears bring my own tears.

 

   I recognise you.

   I know you.

   I recognise myself.

   I know myself.

Will Think For Shoes

   Need help thinking?

   Let me unburden you.

   Let me help you.

   If you think you're alone, and have no one, think again.

   Or better yet, let me think for you.

   Call 1800-xxx-xxx.

   Remember, it does not have to be that way.

   [Children and teenagers under 18 should obtain parents' permission first. Network rates apply.]