Heavy, Heavy

Eyes too heavy to see clearly...

Throat too heavy to speak clearly...

Heart too heavy to breathe clearly...
Emotions too heavy to think clearly...

Come Join The Charade

Truth Or Dare?

Three simple words... a game...

Accompanied by loud laughter and triumphant shouts...

Might as well have been a magical chant by a dark witch.

Those three simple words...
And I'm frozen with fear...
When it was my turn, I always chose Truth.
Because Truth was safe.
And Dare, the Unknown, was a risk.

Now I don't play Truth Or Dare anymore.

Now I play Dare To Face The Truth?

Ah, Glory Days

Just a quick update. I've been rather quiet on the blog front because a friend from my university days is here for a visit and I have been having a grand time playing tourist with her.

Hope you're not missing me too much! [As if! =P]

Welcome To The Playground

Ah, the playing field...

From fresh grass, flying swings, full benches...

To threadbare floors, flying paper, creaking chairs...

Step up to the plate.

I nod, you nod.

We know the rules.

Cheat and pay the consequences.

Prepare for the judgement in their eyes.

I nod, you smirk.

We know the rules.

Cheat and reap the rewards.

Prepare for the admiration in their eyes.

Ah, the playing field...

No more fun and sense of wonder.

I'm stepping off the plate.

You nod, I wave goodbye.

Enjoy your glory and praises.

They will be good company for those sleepless nights.

Oh, Say It Is [Not] So!; Or, The Meaning Of Life

This is what it has come down to.

Me, desperately shaking a Magic 8 Ball for the answers I desperately seek.

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I marry and have my happily-ever-after?

Without A Doubt.

[Oh, we're off to a fabulous start!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever become a published writer?

My Sources Say No.

[Bloody 8 Ball!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I at least live comfortably?

Yes.

[Simple and straightforward, I like it.]

Now to get down to business.

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever figure out what that silver button belongs to?

Most Likely.

[Woohoo!]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, will I ever cure my addiction to shopping?

[Inconclusive - I received many glimpses to different answers.]

Dear Magic 8 Ball. are you telling me the truth?

Concentrate And Ask Again.

[Ok, I will.]

Dear Magic 8 Ball, are you telling me the truth?

Yes, Definitely.

[Ok, I trust you. I've got all the answers I need for now. Thanks! You have just enriched my life deeply. What would I do without you?]

No, seriously, will I ever be able to answer these deep questions without your insight?

Without A Doubt.

Well, then, why am I putting my trust in you?

No answer.

Not so smart now, are you?

As I See It, Yes.

Great. You have just destroyed the very foundations of my belief. Thanks a lot!

Nutrition For My Eyes

For a good friend, ScoMan.

Thanks for all the wonderful support.

Welcome To The Dollhouse

To sit in front of the mirror...
The lying mirror... or
The truthful mirror?

Choosing a colour...
Coral or crimson or raspberry...
Sweet or mysterious or natural?
Desert or sunrise or dusty rose?
Vulnerable princess or strong warrior... or
Lovely enchantress?

Cover those sad eyes.
Cover that pale complexion.
Cover those downturned lips.
It is time to face the outside world.

The gleam of diamonds to add shine to dull...
The inches of heels to elevate low to high...
The smoothness of silk to reduce the roughness of life...
The props to face the outside world.

No more sad eyes, but confident eyes...
No more pale complexion, but a glowing complexion...
No more downturned lips, but alluring lips...
To stare the world in the eyes...
To face the world and all it will bring...
To smile everyday...

Ready?
Welcome to the dollhouse.

Being Fabulous Takes Up 99% Of My Time

Forgive me then if I sleep a lot. It's exhausting being fabulous.

I've been meaning to get to this for a while now...

But as usual, I was... blablablabla...

ScoMan has deemed me to be fabulous! I'm so flattered, I'm blushing fabulously. =P Thanks, ScoMan!

Now, as is customary, when one receives an award, one must give a speech. The speech for receiving this particular award requires the recipient to list 5 addictions, which I shall fabulously do now.

My 5 addictions, some of which make my life so fabulous, include:

1. Writing. My coping mechanism that helps me deal with the drama. My catharsis for my constantly tempestuous emotions. My lifeline when I'm drowning. My true loyal companion through every step of the way.
2. Reading. See above.
3. Facebook. Fabulously entertaining me through those restless hours. And keeping me in touch with friends while allowing me to stalk some. =D
4. Crisps. Once I pop, I just can't stop. Well, technically, I'm addicted to Walker's, so it's more like once I tear into the packet, I can't tear myself away until it's empty.
5. Pampering sessions. Aromatherapy, bubble baths, shopping - all those little things to make me feel good.

Now to pass this on to 5 other fabulous bloggers:

1. A'a... from Dorothy, Eat Your Heart Out!
2. Maryam... from The Swanny Times
3. Adib... from A Corner Of My Soul
4. Nicole... from Me, Myselves And I
5. Cheryl... from Confessions Of A Twenty Something Year Old

Welcome To The Puppet Show

A string pulls me in the opposite direction. I go stiff and try to dig my feet into the ground. But I guess I didn't dig deep or hard enough. Or maybe the force behind the string is too strong to resist. I go flying across the wind, wishing the ground was quicksand that will hold me down firmly.

No such luck.

So I land at your feet. You said, "Let's go."

I nod and follow because that's where the string is leading me.

Ah, you're not a bad person. You can't help who and what you are.

I think I'm not such a bad person. But I am who and what I am.

I've been called into play. And play I shall.

Because it's not always about me. The captain needs to rest. And rest he shall.

So I give you a big smile. I take the string and begin to skip.

Welcome to the puppet show.

Stasis

He's watching me, studying my face for a frown, a smile, a wrinkling of the nose - anything to let him know what I'm thinking.

My lips curve into a smile but remain silent.

He smiles back and touches my hand.

I see the uncertainty in his eyes. I hope he doesn't feel the uncertainty in my heart.

He asks me a question. I answer but don't elaborate.

I feel him begin to panic as he grips my hand tighter.

I look at him and look away.

I want to pull away and I want to pull him into me.

His panic somewhat reassures me.

So this is where we stand.

Is this where we end? Or is this where we move on?

I don't know.

I'm not sure I want to know.

I know that I need to smile now. So I will.

But I wonder...

Is the loneliness worse when you're alone or when you're right beside someone?

The eternal question floats in my mind again.

Is it worth it?