Her Place

He doesn't need her.

He has his family.

They give him everything he needs.

The things she wants to give him but cannot.

He doesn't need her.

He has his friends.

They support him and understand him.

They're always there by his side.

Just like she wishes she could always be by his side.

He doesn't need her.

She can't give him the things he needs.

She can't give him the support he needs.

She is the one who tries to get in.

She is the one who stands outside.

She is the one who doesn't understand.

She is the one...

Who is walking away.

The Decision: A Letdown

What was I to do?

The ringing was calling to me.

The phone was begging to be answered.

I had walked past this public phone hundred of times on my way to the university.

And on my way home.

I had used it many times to call home.

But never once had it started ringing just as I walked by.

It was as if Life was trying to reach me.

Who was calling?
Was it a wrong number?
Was it someone who would offer me a million pounds?
Was it someone who would recruit me as a secret agent?

So many times I wished for it to happen.

Just so I could experience it.

What can I say?

I have rather unusual thoughts.

So what did I do when the opportunity finally presented itself?

When I could finally answer that question in my mind?

I walked away.

I decided the fantasy was better than the reality.
What does that say about me?

The Decision: Inner Torment

   I stood there, frozen in place.

   My heart beat faster.

   My thoughts were spinning crazily.

   I was caught in the moment.

   Unable to come to a firm decision.

   I had often wondered about this moment.

   But I had never once thought that it would actually happen.

   And yet, there it was.

   It was a question I had asked myself many times, over the years.

   It was a question I could finally answer.

   And yet, I hesitated.

   The day had started off like any other day.

   Class, lunch at home, work in the evening.

   Now, this.

   What should I do?

   What was the right thing to do?

   I stood there and debated on what my next step should be.

   The seconds stretched into minutes.

   The minutes crawled maddeningly slowly by.

   I was almost tormented while trying to come up with a solution.

   I was excited and doubtful.

   Intrigued but hesitating.

   

   Thus concludes part one of this drama.

And The Verdict Is... Guilty!

Okay, confess. How many of you have signed up or joined something or just committed yourselves to a cause, but didn't follow through?

I know I'm guilty of doing just that on many, many counts.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to join ballet.

So, ballet classes it was.

I went to the first class, but sat by the side because I wanted to 'watch and learn' first.

I went to the second class, did about 10 minutes, before giving up and crying.

I never went to that third class.

When I was about 10, I really liked art.

So, my parents signed me up for art classes.

We went to the school, my parents paid for my lessons, and when they were about to leave, I started sobbing and wanted to go with them.

I held onto my mother's leg and refused to let go.

They had to go back in and get a refund.

I sobbed all the way home and never went to a single art class.

When I was 18, I signed up for a driving course.

I paid the first payment.

I never went.

When I was in my final year in Swansea, I decided to join Aikido.

I signed up with the Aikido Club and paid my membership fees.

I was so excited at the idea of learning an art of self-defense.

In my head, I was imagining myself as Kasumi from D.O.A. Or as Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

I didn't go to even one lesson.

So, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty.

That's not including all the let's-ditch-the-chocolates-cakes-and-crisps-and-be-healthy plans that I've [barely] started and quit within days.

*sigh* I'm working on this though. No, really, I am.

Catching The Butterfly

I'm getting kind of tired of chasing after the butterfly.

I think I'll just sit and wait for it to come to me, if it so chooses.

There's only so much one can take before one grows tired.

I'm not going to wait around forever for that butterfly.

It's already bitten me once.

Anyway, while waiting for that butterfly, I think I'll make some Milo toast.

Some kind of grain bread, butter, and Milo are all I need. Yum.

Maybe it will tempt the butterfly to come to me.

At the very least, I'll have a yummy snack.

Transmutation Device

I just discovered that I had a magic transmutation thingy on my bedside table. Amazing, right?

Now, like any other scientific discovery, I'll have to present proof or evidence to support my 'discovery'.

The Proof:

1. My long green-handled scissors are now short pink-handled ones. [I have asked everyone who lives in this house if they have seen the green one, but nobody knows anything about it.]
2. I discovered tweezers under my pillow and my tissues are slowly disappearing. [When I asked, nobody admitted to touching my tissues and the tweezers are still unclaimed. Maybe I have a tooth fairy that deals in tweezers instead of change? But I didn't lose a tooth.]

Mystifying, isn't it?

I also seem to have a telekinetic device downstairs as the tissue box keeps moving around or disappearing altogether.

Remember: the truth is out there.

Caught Again! 8 Things

I've been tagged by ScoMan.

Here are the rules for this tagyou'reit game:

1. Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.
4. If you have already been tagged and do not wish to go through the exercise then let the taggee know.

Here we go. These are my eight random facts/habits about myself:

1. I just had a dream that I went shoe shopping with my mom and she told me I could only buy two pairs of shoes, then presented me with her 5 favourite pairs. I was torn between these snakeskin heels and leopard print flats, as well as brown heels with embroidered flowers. Then suddenly I was in a car with my friend and the car behind us was tailing us, so we called the police. But then the car behind us cut in front of us and drove off and when the policeman asked for my details, I refused to answer him and kind of hung up on him. This led to them showing up at my house. Freaky, right?
2. I like 'Project Runway' and 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' and other 'reality' TV shows.
3. This is the third time I've been tagged this week. Haha. I'm still working on the other two.
4. I am obsessed with 'Pet Society' on Facebook. And 'Fashion Wars'.
5. I've just started reading James Patterson's 'Double Cross' and am already hooked, as usual. That man is a genius.
6. Right now, I wish I had woken up earlier so I could have joined my friend on her shopping expedition at Pavilion. I love the shop that sells those really cute and cheap hair bands/Alice bands. 
7. I'm struggling to come up with these eight facts.
8. I want to find out ScoMan's real name. Haha. Sorry, but I'm so intrigued by this.

Now I tag:

   Jaja, Eim, Aya, Ellie, Audrea, Maryam, A'a, Him

Oh, Choices To Make

   Well, I find myself conflicted at the moment. My parents asked me if I would like to go with them on a trip to Penang for a few days. I would love to. However, doing so would mean missing out on my dance class and having fun with my friends after and I risk losing the momentum. *sigh*

   Plus, there's also the risk of me going mad from hanging out with my sisters too much. And if I stay, I could catch up on my reading and some other things on my must-do-now list. 

   But then the images of pretty hair bands in Penang are calling out to me. 

   What do I do?!?

   It's a 6-day trip [which in itself is making me feel conflicted] versus 6 days of ultimate freedom and privacy. But Penang has such yummy food. Which will totally mess up my imaginary diet. Gaaahhh.

   Ohmygosh, so the drama over something so mundane.

   Blah.

The Good Intention

   Before I went grocery shopping, I always made a list. This is so...

1. I would remember to buy the things I really needed. [toothpaste, etc.]
2. To avoid buying the things I didn't need. [biscuits, crisps, etc.]

   So, a typical shopping list would generally look like this...

1. Onions, garlic, shallots
2. Basmati rice
3. Frozen peas
4. Red peppers
5. Chillies
6. Oil
7. Mushrooms
8. Pasta
9. Pasta sauce
10. Canned tuna
11. Chicken
12. Salmon
13. Chips
14. Milk
15. Cereal
16. Butter
17. Bread
18. Pears

   This is what I usually came home with...

1. All the things in the 'original' list
2. Frozen pizza
3. Walker's Sensations Thai Sweet Chili
4. Cappucino cake
5. Chocolate chip cookies
6. Glamour magazine
7. Walker's Cheese and Onion
8. Sushi
9. Ben and Jerry's Phish Food
10. Fish cakes

   Low willpower much?

   I always said Tesco [in Swansea] was my second home. Where else opens late at night, anyway? 

This Week In A Nutshell

   Weeeeee! This week I...

• went for my second kickboxing session + am starting to get really hooked!
• went for my second dance class + managed to keep up this time [and managed to stay coordinated!]
• printed out loads of recipes to try out... yum!
• written more stuff for my potential 'book' [any publishers interested?]
• am celebrating my dad's birthday... happy birthday, dad!
• am very proud of him for everything he has accomplished... you're fab!
• have been tagged twice... will get to is soon-ish, girls.

 

  Let's see what next week brings me.