Tubular-shaped Thing?

This is from The Better Midler Show. One episode, she was supposed to take Stevie Wonder out to lunch. She forgot to book a suitably fancy restaurant and ended up in her daughter's high school cafeteria. She got her daughter to pretend to be a waitress, and when Stevie asked what the specials of the day were, her daughter answered... "Some tubular thing with sauce" [or something like that]. Of course, he knew all along where they were but he was just playing along.
Anyhoo, that completely cracked me up.
That led me to thinking about how I would describe other things. Such as spaghetti. Long strands of processed durum? Television - an electronic cube with moving images and sounds. Roast duck - roast poultry of the swimming variety?
That led me to thinking [See how my mind works? And people wonder why I'm so exhausted doing nothing all day. They see me and they think I'm doing nothing. Fact is, I think - A LOT.] about one of the most commonly asked questions - HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? I hated that question in school, and I hate it now. I always felt so pressured to answer that. I have a limited amount of time, which meant a limited amount of words, to describe myself.
Usually, it was the usual boring spiel of "I'm XX years old. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. I like to read and write. My ambition is to be a XXXXX someday." Now, I've pretty much got it down to "a chronic chocoholic, a wannabe writer, a pretend princess, a devoted shopaholic, a professional daydreamer and a superb sleeper - masquerading as an adult".
Hmm... that's still not really me, though.